HE might be right

As part of the whole nightmare that was Sunday, the day HE moved out -- HE also asked me a question which I had been thinking a lot about anyway.
Do you think you drink too much?
I nodded. Yeah, recently, I do.
I can recall a time when I put my automatic wine shipments on hold because my wine rack was full. Lately, if I had any wine in there at all, it was gone within days. I could easily drink a bottle in an evening and sometimes two bottles. I stopped buying nice, read, expensive, wine and started buying super cheap wine so I could afford this habit. I'd make up an excuse to visit the grocery store, 7-11, Fresh and Easy to buy wine if I didn't have any. I really looked forward to the wine at night. I would still like to look forward to this. Unfortunately, I can't seem to have one glass of wine. One glass makes me want two which makes me want 4 which makes me want the next bottle. Apart from the calories and the weight I've gained, it isn't good for my body to drink that much and isn't good my mind to be pickled like that. It would help me numb-out and sink away. It allowed me to occupy myself and fill my time and eliminated the need to think..really think and really feel feelings.
I could avoid most feelings and thoughts by pouring a class of wine and sinking into the couch and...being numb.  I don't want to do this anymore.
I'm not sure at what point this changed for me. I know I like wine, but I've always liked wine. I can recall meeting DAM for dinner and drinks and having more than I'd ever have before...and liking it.  That's my first recollection of it. Certainly, it's not DAM's fault. He never had to talk me into the next drink. I always willingly ordered up. Whatever or where ever the change happened, it happened and I went from being a social drinker to being a social...alcoholic to being an....alcoholic. Or at least I was well on my way to such.
I'm happy to say that I haven't had a drink since last Friday. That's one whole week which is the longest I've gone in months, I'd say. I haven't missed it much...a bit...but nothing intolerable.
I hope I can have a glass of wine someday and leave it at that. But I know I can't now. And so, I'm leaving it alone and giving up my wine.